Police Academy Four and Five
A long time ago we watched Police Academy Four: Citizens on Patrol
Citizens on Patrol, 1987
This is by far the best PA movie. I’m not sure whether I feel that way because it’s the one I have seen the most often, or because the franchise finally hit its stride. I won’t say this episode is subtle or nuanced in any way, but it does what it does, and it does it well. The whole series is based on misfits-as-crimestoppers - and PA 4 introduces some new misfits to love, including Sweetchuck, Mrs. Feldman and (how could I forget) the badath skateboarding David Spade.
There is (slightly) less overt racism and sexism, and thank God Captain Mauser is out of the picture.
In addition, Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait) gets to have a love affair, Hightower dresses as a voodoo doctor (or something? “yamma yamma yamma yaaaammah”), and both the Blue Oyster Bar and Steve Guttenberg make their final appearances. Plus, semi-legitimate actress Sharon Stone stars as the formulaic, plucky journalist /slash/ Mahoney-girl.
This movie scores bonus points because it was released on my fifth birthday.
Assignment Miami Beach, 1989
This was supremely disappointing. Rene Auberjonois as the jewel thief is one of the most irritating performances I may have ever seen, and the introduction of Cmdnt. Lassard’s nephew (Guttenberg’s replacement in subsequent films) is completely absurd. This is really unfortunate, but Matt McCoy! Steve Guttenberg you are not! The only endearing part is Lassard’s playfulness in doing his kidnappers’ bidding.
As if the other episodes weren’t poorly written enough, PA 5 throws all attempts at plot by the wayside and goes instead of a series of middle-school style, talent show skit gags. Look at that guy, he got “DORK” sunburned into his chest. Oh, look at that guy, his hat’s on fire. It’s not even that it was bad necessarily, it was just sad.
We still have movies six and seven to watch. As soon as Michael gets over his Gilmore Girls phase, we’ll get back to them. And you.
